As a young girl growing up, I remember having this feeling that I needed to please those around me. Not just the adults in my life, but those who were my peers. There were many that I called friends, but only a few that were truly my friends. It took some time for me to know what having a friend should be like, but in a way, there is a part of me that still wants to make sure that my friends are happy. At some point, between elementary and high school, I began to “care for myself” by being overly defensive and at many times mean to those that I felt were taking advantage of me. It didn’t occur to me until later in life, that although my words did have power, the way I chose to use those words was all wrong! Have you ever had that “aha” moment? Where you realize that the thing you are fighting for is not acceptance, but identity!
Clarity in the area of coming to know yourself is like water that hydrates the dry places of your heart and comfort you in the times when others challenge your very existence. There came a point in my life, that God made it clear to me that it was never about them accepting me, but about me being able to stand firm in knowing who I was when the time came for me to do it alone. It is my belief that life will slingshot you into areas that you never asked for with the purpose of revealing to you that where you land is right where you belong! Many of us are mid-flight and have no idea where the landing will end up or when it will take place. But it is my prayer that your faith in the flight does not fail you and that you don’t lose hope in your purpose.
The significance of having a friend is something that can only be proven when we need one. There are those that are the “strong” friend who doesn’t ever seem to have any problems or worries and then there is the friend who only stays connected during the difficult times in their lives. The strong friend has indeed seemed to be able to conquer and master trials and tribulations alone, but the truth is that by the time their “friends” call them, they have already dealt with it. But this is also the friend that will answer the phone and help others while they are yet dealing with their own issues! I’m not saying that one must be more like the other, but I am saying that we all should be more aware of how we perceive those in our lives. Everyone doesn’t have it all together, everyone needs a break, everyone gets stressed, and depression, anxiety, and loneliness is real!
When I was younger, I fell short in many areas of being the proper friend. But at 38, I now realize that a true friend knows when to hold you up, when to let you gracefully stumble, when to pick you up, and when to tell you to be quiet. It is my prayer today that we all begin to recognize how important friendship is and that it is not just about what you can get from that person, but what your relationship can do to make you both better people.
The scripture I’ll leave you with is Proverbs 17:17
A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.
Be blessed y’all!
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