I get it. We all have felt unwanted at some point. We all have felt like an option, had our hearts broken, and felt isolated. Rejection comes without warning, notice, or often times undetected. To say that being rejected hurts is an understatement. It does more than hurt. A stubbed toe hurts, a hangnail hurts, a headache hurts. But rejection can be a silent killer. Like stress, rejection can eat away at the healthy areas of your life like termites. There is no initial indication that the damage is occurring, but overtime, if not treated, it can become a costly and time-consuming fix.
How we perceive the experience of rejection can have a tremendous impact on how we deal with life after rejection. There are times where we see the pain of rejection manifest itself in how we interact with others. Think about it, rejection can have you in the mindset of “get them before they get me” creating a cycle of unintended rejection. How often have you given someone the side-eye because they were being nice but you thought they wanted something from you?
For most of my life I dealt with separation anxiety (I have some hilarious stories!). This revelation didn’t occur until I was in my 20s, but when it did, it hit me like an 18-wheeler with no breaks! When God showed me what it was, it was like a weight being lifted off of my shoulders. Trying to hold on to people who have rejected you or feeling guilty for their choice to walk away is carrying a cross that was not meant for you to carry. At that moment I decided to not carry guilt that was not assigned to me! Sometimes we long to be wanted and desired for by people who are simply not good for us at that time in life. God strategically orchestrates who He places in our lives at certain points due to how they can influence us. So it necessarily wasn’t rejection but protection.
The residue of rejection causes us to push people away to avoid rejection. However, in avoiding rejection, we are also denying ourselves the opportunity of joy and restoration! That job that said no, that spouse that left, the divorce that made you miss your mom or dad, the relationship that ended…perhaps they all were leading you to a tomorrow that only you could enter. Perhaps the closed door and the broken heart occurred to keep you protected from greater harm or to reveal the true intent of that friend. Many things come with the intent to break us, but if you survived, then it’s time to thrive! Be more than a conquerer…there is life after rejection!
The spirit of rejection can make us defensive and waiting for others to disappoint us. But I want to challenge you to begin to allow God to heal that area of hurt. Jesus was rejected, but that rejection was attached to a divine purpose. The next time you feel rejected, begin to ask God to re-direct your thoughts and actions after the rejection occurs. You are being made a cornerstone, a pillar that will stand tall! Rejoice!
Scripture Psalm 118:22-24
22The stone which the builders rejected
Has become the chief cornerstone.
23This was the Lord’s doing;
It is marvelous in our eyes.
24 This is the day the Lord has made;
We will rejoice and be glad in it.
Be blessed y’all!