I remember the first time I felt anger enter my heart. Like my feelings had been hurt before, but anger would never stay for too long nor become a part of my heart’s character. But then one day, it happened. Out of all the experiences that I had come to encounter, they all left me with different feelings that ranged from joy, sadness, happiness, fear, pleasure, and sorrow. I guess that anger was placed somewhere on the spectrum of these, but my heart never held it. Perhaps due to the way I was raised to forgive and move on and not be bitter, but mainly I believe due to the fact that what I desired most from the world was acceptance. So here it was, this need to be accepted that was met with undeniable rejection and out of this conjugal visit was the seed of anger planted in the womb of my heart.
It was in this moment, that I was unaware of the root that was taking place in my heart. That it would eventually begin to break out from floor of my heart where it lived. Anger from being rejected in the past, began to manifest itself as a defense mechanism due to the fear of being rejected again. Rejection has a way of making you feel that who you are isn’t going to be received by many and that you are better off defending your heart before anyone has a chance to break it. We take the scripture in Proverbs “guard your heart” and twist it to the point where we are not just guarding our heart but we are turning it to stone. The pain the last time was too great to bear, so the posture moving forward becomes focused on never being hurt or rejected again. But the reality of doing this is, although we may be able to keep people from hurting us, we are rejecting or denying ourselves from the opportunity to experience acceptance or even healing.
I have watched myself and others deal with rejection in a way that is unhealthy and poisonous to those around them. The rejected can easily become the rejecter in an attempt to protect the heart. As we struggle to survive, there becomes this showmanship display of how we want our lives and heart to be but are truly not in reality. If we examine our hearts posture, we will find that we have some things that have hitchhiked their way into our future. There are a lot of things that we all go through that we don’t ever want to go through again. However, dealing with the effects of what we went through is essential to being whole and being victorious.
There have been times when we want to change, but we don’t want to deal with what is necessary in order to change. I used to avoid conversations that involved dealing with my attitude. Not because I wasn’t aware of how my attitude was perceived, but I didn’t want to deal with the root cause of my attitude towards others. Rejection. I have found that whatever is in the heart is bound to come out. We must be brave enough to face the essence of what is in our heart in order to be aware of what has the potential to come out. The tendency that we have to create mountains out of molehills come from the shadows of issues that lay festering in our heart.
It is impossible for us to heal, change, or grow out of things that we are unwilling to face. Even if that means coming to grips with our own participation in some situations. Proverbs 4:23 says “Above all else, guard your heart, for out of it spring the issues of life.” Our hearts are a vault that contain all the things that we deal with in life. Everything that enters our heart will eventually make its way to the rest of our body and spirit. I heard this morning on the radio “If it’s on your mind, it’s only a matter of time”! I will go further and say that if it’s in your heart, it will eventually be on your mind and out of your mouth.
As you move forward beyond your heart ache, guard it from things that will deposit poison seeds that can affect other areas of your life. So yes, guard your heart, but don’t guard it from healing, love, and the undeniable affection of The Father.
Be blessed y’all!